Amanda Kiser
She’d Kill You with Her Daddy
As I knelt beside her body, my hands slick with blood, I couldn’t help feeling relieved. Her mismatched eyes, one a heavy cerulean, the other a forest green, staring up at the blanket of clouds covering the waning crescent moon. I touched her auburn hair; let the silky stands run through her blood on my digits. For the first time, I saw real beauty. The utter emptiness of her form, still and peaceful in the quiet was a fresh comfort. No judgment. No expectation. Just the shell of a woman in the prickling grass of a city park as leaves twirled in the breeze. Aubrey was her name, but that didn’t matter. The tiny mole beside her full, parted lips mattered. Her porcelain skin cooling as the minutes passed was everything. I remembered meeting her when that same skin was flushed in the heat of the crowded bar.
I had stumbled in, catching my shoe on the threshold, recovering by sticking my hands out before me. With burning cheeks, I ducked to the nearest table as the snickers subsided, hastily taking my seat. The short rickety table was scarred and crusted at the edges, probably with vomit. As I set my elbows on the surface, I glanced around, hoping that David would arrive soon. It had been too long since we’d seen each other; five years come to think of it. I could feel peoples’ eyes boring into my skull and I couldn’t blame them. I tugged my chin length dirty blonde hair back into position over my college injury. A man missing the top half of his ear was pretty hard to come by, even with the persistent globalization of the world.
Vocab word. I thought and immediately scolded myself. I wasn’t in the classroom teaching the last chapter on the present day. Deborah would have laughed and called me “geeky” if I’d had the nerve to utter that two word sentence. Her manicured talons scraping through her dry, brittle hair, an unnatural blonde, and her empty hazel eyes gleaming as the neighbors’ son hacked at the overgrown ivy. She’d grin crookedly and mention that if I worked out more she’d wear her sexy little nurses’ uniform. I’d think if she gave better head, it might be worth sweating it out in a gym.
“What’ll it be, sugar,” a smooth voice asked from my left. I jumped, knocking over the square dish holding the sugar packets.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to look into the weirdest pair of eyes. One was a deep ocean blue, the other a lush grass green, but they had one thing in common: they were laughing. Her skin was pale under the flush, and the tiny mole on the side of her mouth seemed oddly perfect.
“You didn’t,” I said quickly. “Bars aren’t my thing.”
“I’d guess not, seein’ as you picked the worst table in the joint.” Her grin was fast and stunning, complimenting her faint southern drawl. “Sit at the bar. Lauren’s tending tonight so it’s clean enough to eat off of.” She took my hand and I felt a jolt run up my fingertips straight to my head. If I believed in angels, I’d swear they were singing, but it was probably just the blood rushing to my brain. Her hand was petite and smooth in my large calloused mitt and her short manicured fingernails pressed gently on the side of my palm. I hoped she didn’t notice the sweat building in a thin sheen over my titillated skin. Winding through the tables full of people joking and clinging to one another, she steered me to a stool at the smooth, glossy bar.
“My name is Aubrey and this is Lauren.” She pointed to a tall Amazon woman with thick coal black hair and wild emerald eyes. Lauren was easily over six feet tall with slender shoulders and a generous mouth.
“If you need anything, just gimme a holler or Lauren can help you out.” I thanked her and watched as she used her short legs to make choppy strides toward a pretty red head with too much purple eye shadow. I wondered if she noticed that her red bra was showing through her cream colored sweater, or that she had a habit of tucking her curly auburn hair behind her ears when she was making small talk.
“She’s a looker, isn’t she,” Lauren asked, handing me my ginger ale. Shrugging, I took a sip and continued to watch Aubrey circle the large, rustic room. There were twenty tables and she made sure to hit them all in roughly the same order every ten minutes, except when someone flagged her over.
“Pity she got married last summer. Lots of boys spent a few days sighing when they got the news.” I felt my heart burn a little. Whose hands would be rushing over those sumptuous curves later tonight the way I wished mine could?
“Marriages don’t last forever,” I mumbled.
“Not always,” Lauren admitted. “Is that what happened to you?”
“Quit stickin’ your nose into peoples’ business Lauren.” David’s deep, slurry baritone came from my left and seemed to catch her attention enough to divert her jungle eyes from mine. Looking him over, I could tell he hadn’t changed since our glory days. In high school, David was cocky, scruffy, and always in some state of filth. Tonight, his hair fell past his mahogany eyes and I was sure he hadn’t shaved in three or four days, hiding his strong jaw line.
“It’s my job to make conversation, Davie,” Laura grinned. “Is this the slob you’ve been waiting to see? I thought you had taste.”
“And I thought ya loved me. At least gimme me a beer,” David said. Lauren rolled her eyes and went to retrieve the drink. He set himself on the stool, almost falling over with a snort. Another thing that hadn’t changed: Dave always started partying before getting to the actual party. From the way he smelled, he and Mr. Daniels had been living it up.
“So, Jackie, tell me how the Bitch of the West is ruining your life.”
I smiled at the nickname Deb had earned in the early days of our marriage. “She’s making Shannon into her clone. Even the dog is tired of being pecked at by the two of ‘em.”
“She’s drivin’ you to an early grave,” he said. “Only reason she got knocked up was to kill you faster. Life insurance, bud. It’s all your worth to ‘er. Want my advice?” David looked at Lauren with a wink. “Find a pretty young thing and keep ‘er on the side. That’ll really piss your old lady off.”
My eyes drifted to Aubrey for a moment. “I’d rather leave and save myself the hassle.”
“You ain’t got the balls to leave,” David chuckled as Lauren returned with his bottle. He tried to take it with his right hand wincing. I wondered if the dislocated shoulder he’d gotten in our championship game had ever healed properly. “She’d kill you with her daddy.”
I felt the urge to put a hole in his face, but took another drink instead. “Probably. He’s the best lawyer in Albuquerque. You getting hitched anytime soon?”
“Hell no. Ain’t even worth it.” Tossing back his Budweiser, he drank long and deep. I wondered if he’d drown as I watched his adams apple bob up and down. Even my fourth graders knew to come up for air. Once the bottle was empty, he took a few harsh breaths and plunked the container on the bar. “’Nother one ‘Ren.”
She furrowed her brow, but quickly went over to the fridge to retrieve his order. “When will she cut you off?”
“One more ‘n she’ll send me on home. Whatzit you say about history, Jack?” He laughed when Lauren huffed, setting the drink down before him. “What d’ you tell them kids in class?”
“Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it,” I reminded him. The topics turned from my career to his quickly.
“Body shops been slow this summer,” he sighed. “Startin’ to wish someone’d bash into a rail so my hours’ll go back up.”
“What does Emily think about you being part time?”
“Ah, she been gone awhile, Jack.” David fiddled with a bottle of tobacco sauce, a sloppy smile plastered on his face. “She said she can’t git over m’ fingers bein’ so filthy.”
Grimacing, I glanced at the crescents of grease and oil. “No woman could, Dave.”
“Ain’t like it’d jump out an' bite ‘er.” David inspected his chapped hands. “M’ hands’re clean. That’s what does the touchy feely.” He howled with laughter, wiggling his fingers in a groping fashion.
“When’d you git to be such a pussy, Jackie?” He began fondling my hands and cooing. “Oh! So soft. They’d feel great wrapped around m’ dick.”
“They’d feel about as good as when coach caught us drinking behind the bleachers,” I replied.
“Aw, hell. I couldn’t stop ralphin’.” David made retching sounds, causing patrons to glance over and scoot away. “Up ‘n down, up ‘n down all night long. Didn’t tell our pa’s though,” David chuckled. “Saved us from the belt.”
“He was pretty decent,” I admitted. “I never heard a kind word from him until I caught that interception in the fourth quarter against Chesterfield.”
“That was fuckin’ amazing, Jackie. Bobby Smith still says so ‘least once a week, right ‘Ren?”
“He does mention you boys quite a bit in his column,” Lauren conceded. “I still hear Remy Johnson and Billy Thornwood talk about the back yard bullshit you pulled against Fayette in the championship game. They were your old blockers, right?”
“Yeah. I’ll bet they leave out the grief that came with it,” I sipped my drink. “David pulled his arm out of socket in the pile up. Hasn’t been right since by the look of it.” I felt my face heat. Maybe Aubrey’d heard about my amazing plays of the past. If she were a football fan, it might give me an icebreaker.
Then again, that was me now. A coward, looking for the easy way in and out. I began to wish I’d followed my dream of getting my doctorate. A younger me hadn’t been afraid of anything, but I found myself fearful of paying a huge chunk of my salary to child support after I’d heard my casual lay had gotten knocked up. Once I’d learned that her father was a lawyer, I decided that settling for teaching grade school history and marrying her would be easiest. Boy was I wrong. I gave up my spot on the football team to transfer to a community college to settle down and my dream job of being a professor at Austin University for that spoiled bitch. I didn’t find out until after Shannon was born that Deb had poked holes in the condoms we were using so she could get pregnant. Peggy Dunn, a friend of Deb’s that had been drinking heavily at the Christmas party five years ago had told me Debbie had planned the whole thing. If I’d been smarter, I’d have left that night and never looked back.
After he blasted through another drink, Lauren cut David off and offered to call him a cab. By then, even I couldn’t understand a lick of what he was saying. I imagined that Lauren was an expert on drunken slobs and she quickly phoned a taxi. David began dozing on the bar shortly before the cab arrived and I slung his good arm over my shoulders to drag him out. Lauren gave the address to the driver and fished David’s’ wallet out of his back pocket. Apparently this was a regular occurrence. She counted out exactly twelve dollars and eighty seven cents and shoved the tattered leather back into David’s jeans. I thought about asking her just how bad of an alcoholic my friend was, but as she sauntered back inside, the sky opened and I was pelted with button size pieces of hail.
I hurried in, noting everyone in the bar was oblivious to the severe weather warning flashing across the eighty inch television hanging above the bar. Ordering another soft drink, I sat on my designated stool and eyed the weather man warily. The promise that the stars would be visible in an hour sounded unreal with his cheesy grin taking up the majority of the screen.
“Don’t worry too much,” Lauren sighed. She moved the rag in circles across the shining wood. “We get this all the time just before the real snow hits,” she said. A bartender’s intuition was frightening.
“Won’t it damage your car,” I asked. I was suddenly thankful that I’d left my 1957 Bellaire, my pride and joy, in the garage at home fifty miles north. Then again, my wife was probably cruising around in it with her cronies after a bottle of tequila. Hopefully she’d hit a tree and die on impact. Maybe I’d get real lucky and her friends would go into bite the big one too. I’d lose the car, but it would be worth it.
“Sometimes it leaves a dent or two,” Aubrey huffed, taking a seat next to me. “You leave a Jag out there or somethin’?”
“No. I can’t afford a Jaguar,” I muttered. She kept looking at me with the sweetest bit of curiosity and it was making me nervous. I tugged my dirty blonde hair down to hide my old scar. I about shit when her hand settled over mine on the bar, her wedding band gleaming in the lights.
“I don’t want to be rude,” she began, “but could I ask what happened?”
“Hockey,” I choked. I swallowed hard over the lump in my throat. God, I felt like a geeky virgin out with the prom queen. Aubrey had this look of mysterious knowledge illuminating her face. She tilted her head to the side, looking confused.
“I fell in a pile and someone nicked me,” I explained.
“Oh.” She used her free hand to brush my hair away from my ear. The pad of her finger touched my skin and I started sweating bullets.
“I think it makes you look rugged. You should grow a beard and cut your hair short,” she said.
I laughed nervously. “Just imagine what my kids would think of that.”
“How many do you have?” She ordered a shot of whiskey and slammed it down the second after Lauren gave it to her.
“One hundred and sixty,” I answered. Her mouth popped open and those mismatched eyes got big.
“You’re yankin’ me,” she said.
“No. I’m a history teacher,” I explained. “I get thirty two kids a day for five periods.”
“Boy, I look dumb,” she laughed.
“People assume that a lot, that they’re all mine I mean,” I replied. “How many children do you have?” I kicked back and just let her talk.
“Well, my husband Jeff isn’t really into kids,” she murmured. “I do have a dog, though. He’s a German Sheppard. I call him Rex, but he’s a big ol’ baby.”
“What inspired you to be a bar maid,” I asked. Just had to ask.
She frowned and ordered another drink. “Jeff got us into some trouble. The man’s deluded. He actually started a business to refurbish early 1900s gambling equipment. You can guess how much business he’s drummin’ up.”
“Not too much, I’d imagine.”
“Not a damn bit! But will the dummy listen to me,” she asked. “No. He’s right. He’s always right. I had to take on a second job just to make ends meet while good ol’ Mr. Caudwell tinkers in our garage all day,” she fumed.
“That must be frustrating.” I returned the casual squeeze she gave me and held.
“Preachin’ to the choir, Jack. And all I ask him to do is get a real job so I can quit this one and have a chance to write. That isn’t a lot to ask a man you’ve given your life to.”
I’d give you that and more, I thought. “What would you write about?”
“You’ll think I’m stupid.” She flagged Lauren down for a third shot and tossed it back like a pro. “I wanna write kids books. I think teachin’ a kid to read and write is one of the best things a person can do. You’re noble for what you do, Jack.”
“Noble,” I asked. The color was darkening in her cheeks and a smile was creeping below her button nose.
“Yeah. You teach other people’s kids what’s what and they never even thank you. I’d give you a parade.” She squinted at me for a moment before she cupped the back of my neck and pulled me closer. With her breath hot on my face, I struggled to breathe.
“I’d kill for your eyes,” she sighed. “You got eyes like my daddy. Shiny and brassy like new copper pennies. Just like whiskey.” She gestured to her empty glass. “Boy, daddy loved his whisky. Mama hated it. She was real religious. Good ol’ Protestant woman. Didn’t stop ‘er from leavin’ my daddy ‘n me for the Jiffy Lube guy, though.”
Tears filled her eyes and I reached out to stroke her arm. “I was six. Just a baby. Lauren, another.” Lauren set the bottle on the table sympathetically.
“If you’re gonna get shit faced, cough up your keys, babe,” she whispered. Aubrey handed over the small key ring with a big yellow smiley face on it.
“If I had a baby, I’d ne’er leave her. Not even if m’ man were a bad man. Children should have a home,” Aubrey choked and downed the shot. “Jackie, can you keep a secret?”
Since Lauren had shuffled to assist the red head with too much eye shadow with her drunken husband, I nodded. What choice did I have? She still had me by the scruff. And her eyes really were amazing, dancing with secrecy and delight.
“I’ve been off my pill for two whole months.” She giggled as I stared. Slowly, I realized what she was talking about and I plastered a fake grin on my face.
“That’s great. Have you been lucky,” I asked. I prayed for the first time in fifteen years that she say she’d have to keep trying. Giggling, she poured another drink and with flourish, emptied the glass.
“Just pissed on a stick and I hit the money shot, babe.” She beamed. I felt like I was falling into a black hole. Stomach slipping down to my intestines and creating intricate knots as it tried to escape the bile churning within. My fingers burned over the band on her ring finger. Defeated, I let my hand drop from hers. Had I really thought there could be something between us?
With an oath and a smart slap on the head, Lauren snatched the bottle off of the bar. “You have me serving you liquor with a baby in your belly? Get on home, you lush. And don’t let me catch you back at the bottle ‘til you’ve weaned it.”
“I know Jeff’ll love th’ baby once it’s here,” she slurred. “Jus’ gotta get ‘im to come ‘round.”
“I’m sure he’ll be surprised,” I admitted. Glancing at the clock, I realized it was four in the morning, well past closing time. “Do you need me to walk you home?”
She squinted at the clock. “Shit. I gotta get home ‘fore Jeff gets pissy. Y’know, you’re fun.” She stood up, teetering on her heels. “We gotta do this again sometime. Gimme yer number and I’ll call ya.” I fumbled for the pen in my jacket pocket and hastily scribbled on a napkin.
“Address, too. I’ll send ya a card or something at Christmas.”As I handed her the flimsy paper, she clutched my arm and pulled me down for a sloppy kiss. The neurons in my brain went into overdrive, firing signals to every cell in my body. The tingling spread from my groin radiating out like the rays of the sun. I had to stand to ease the throbbing between my thighs as she twirled erratically. My head was swimming when I realized she was speaking to me.
“- So funny an’ sweet an’ smart.” She pulled me down for a sloppy kiss. “Whatcha think of me tellin’ Jeff tonight,” she asked, her eyes glowing.
“Tellin’ me what, Brie?”
I turned to see a burly man with a thick mustache and a long scar over his left eye glaring at us. His skin was tanned and weathered, possibly from working outside, and his eyes were a cold slate blue. Aubrey immediately reached out and gripped his denim coat.
“Jeffie, this is Jack. He’s a teacher an’ he’s m’ bestest friend,” Aubrey explained. Those killer baby blues focused on me. I was going to get my ass kicked since I was sure he’d seen us kissing.
“Hello. I’m Jack Deeterman.” I offered my hand, almost certain that it would be lopped off. “It’s a pleasure. Aubrey’s been telling me a lot about you.”
“My wife’s mouth tends to run if she’s been at the bottle.” Jeff ignored my hand and wrapped his arm around his wife, concentrating on keeping her standing up. “I expected you home awhile ago, shug. I was gettin’ worried.”
Aubrey patted his cheek. “Silly. I was here wi’ Jackie.”
“The hail did a number on your car,” Jeff continued. “I walked up after it let up and I saw your windshield smashed in. We’re gonna have to walk home.”
“Tha’s okay. I got somethin’ ta tell ya,” Aubrey grinned. “Bye, Jackie.” She waved as Jeff steered her out the door.
Shoulders rounded, I sulked in my seat, thinking how lucky that guy was with a wife who loved him and a baby on the way. A wife that would give up everything just to keep their family going. Unlike my spoiled, prissy housewife who whined that I didn’t make enough to keep her acrylic nails painted and filled every two weeks.
“Stupid S.O.B. forgot to grab her coat,” Lauren growled. She scooped up the burgundy flannel jacket. “Have to run to catch ‘em.”
“I’ll take it for you,” I offered. They were probably right around the corner and I couldn’t get enough of her smile.“I’m on my way out anyway.”
“Thanks. Take a right out the door and keep heading straight. The way her legs are bowin’, they can’t be more than a block over.” Lauren handed me the coat and proceeded to put the stools up on the bar.
Following her instructions, I turned right and scanned the well-lit street. I didn’t see anyone on the sidewalk. The brick facades of the buildings held windows painted with quaint pictures of turkeys and pumpkins for the holidays. Hail stones littered the ground, crunching as I hurried down the cracked sidewalk. The wind sliced through my thin jacket and I remembered the turtle neck back at my hotel. It was a middle finger for choosing the relaxed button up instead. Did it look less nerdy? Sure, but I was freezing my dick off. My teeth were chattering so loudly that I mistook the first high pitched scream for the wind. I came upon the open expanse of the park and heard the shriek for a second, then a harsh thud, and then the wind rustling through the leaves.
My heart fumbled in my chest. I wasn’t a tough guy and I sure as hell wasn’t a hero, but I hugged the iron post of the fence surrounding the park and crept closer to peer around the corner of the gate. When the flash of blue denim hit me head on, I stumbled back against the iron, my hands out in front of me in defense. Squinting, I realized that I didn’t have to worry about getting jumped. The man in the denim jacket had slipped and slammed into a garbage can, sending soda cans and papers into the street. He glanced back, and I called out to him. The piercing blue eyes couldn’t lie. It was Jeff, gathering himself up off the pavement and charging in the opposite direction. As he disappeared, I waited for someone to show up seeking the source of the commotion, but as the seconds ticked by, I doubted anyone else was coming.
When I could feel my legs again, I noticed the warm liquid trickling down to my shoes. Way to go, Champ, I thought. Went and pissed yourself, damn you. I thanked God that there was no one around to see the mess I’d made and turned to go back to my hotel room and change, but something caught my eye. Slinking further into the grass, I saw the short black heels on a pair of legs I’d been staring at all night.
“Aubrey,” I whispered. Moving to her side, I knelt down and brushed my hand down her still face. I shook her gently, then more violently when she didn’t respond. Her eyes were open, blank, staring up at the blanket of stars that had made an appearance like the weather man had said they would. Her jeans were grass stained and her sweatshirt was ripped at the shoulder.
I knew that I should be screaming for help, calling the police or an ambulance, but I just knelt there, frozen. She was splayed beside a statue of a revolutionary man on a mighty horse and I saw the blood on the corner of the slab of marble. I guessed that she’d hit her head in a fall, or been pushed. I tried to find a wound. I felt the soft give of brain tissue beneath my fingers and the sharp splinters of bone, all of it still warm seeping into the ground.
Press hard. Stop the bleeding, one part of my spinning mind said.
She’s dead, you dumb fuck. Just look at her, screamed another.
I sat there for what seemed like hours, alternating between staunching the injury and staring at her unmoving chest. My arms started to ache. After ten minutes, I finally dropped my hands to my sides in defeat. As I sat in the silence, the cold wind biting at my face and ears, I saw the tiny mole beside her mouth, so perfectly placed. It was like seeing her for the first time all over again. Had I noticed how beautiful she was before? My eyes started searching for all the details, committing the colors and shapes to memory. My bloody hands fondled her hair, letting the soft mess fill them and then fall. I knew the aching in my balls was wrong, but this all felt so right. The calm emptiness of her eyes held me as I leaned in to brush my lips against hers. In that instant, she was my world. The sweetness filled me with a sharp, painful ache. A heat I’d never experienced streaked through my arms and legs as I touched her face, etching the subtle rises and dips firmly in my mind.
The softness of her skin drove me to lift her blouse and fill the need burning in my belly with her firm breasts. The slight tang of salt on her skin as my tongue moved from her neck to her navel fueled the fire. With an aching erection, I unfastened my pants and then hers, dragging the fabric away from her cunt. Thrusting inside, I moaned, consumed by pleasure as she closed around me. She was tight and warm. My strokes quickened, my balls slapping against her pussy.
The ecstasy of no one ordering me to slow down, to speed up, or to fuck harder was amazing. The utter devotion I was able to give to my own needs spurred me further, taking her limp legs and lifting them over my shoulders to find that I could go deeper. With the wind chilling the sweat on my brow, my release was epic. My seed exploded from my dick followed by a series of spasms. Semen drained out into the womb of the dead woman. I cried out, digging my fingers into her thighs and gritting my teeth. Panting, I set her down slowly to settle. Catching my breath, I gathered myself, sealing my zipper against the cold. I didn’t want to think of the fetus fatality inside of her. Slipping into the night, I knew that I would never be the same again. All I wanted to remember was watching stars wink at me in her beautiful, empty eyes.