Emily Katitus

Remembering

" . . . in our hearts we did believe that her favorite color was probably green." -Carissa’s Wierd

she had so many, many shoes and they were very great shoes, you just have to believe me. when i was little my aunt thought something was wrong with me because i liked to try them on and i thought it was funny and so did my gram. so we took these very great pictures. they are very great even though it is a little embarrassing that i used to wear girl’s shoes and liked it. i don’t like to wear them anymore. anyway we never developed those pictures because that is how my family is. we always do things, and some of those things are very fun, but then we forget about them and nobody really likes to talk about them and i don’t know why because i once heard that the remembering is even better than the happening and i think that sounds right to me because i’m remembering something right now and it is making me happy but also sad so maybe i’m confused. anyway my gram started doing this crying thing and she did it a lot and i wanted to help her stop so i asked about those pictures and she said she never got them developed but she always meant to. and then she cried again because she told me she was colorblind. i asked if this had just happened and she said no but it had just happened that she was sad about it. i didn’t get that then because wouldn’t a sad thing always be sad or could it really just start being sad later or could a sad thing someday not be so sad?

at her funeral i put up the pictures in black and white because i wanted to remember like she did.